Why I'm A Pirate Not A Gold Digger

For some time now, when asked what I’m looking for in a man, I make the smart-alec comment of “I need a rich man who will pay off my house so I don’t have to work multiple jobs to pay the bills anymore.”

However, it seems that I don’t have the correct mental state to just grab a rich guy when one is handed to me. And to that I offer you my case in point and also a laugh at my expense.

I was waiting to meet a friend for lunch after work yesterday. I’d walked from my car up to the restaurant entrance and then realized I’d left something in my car so I turned around to walk back across the parking lot.

As I was approaching my car, a white SUV pulled up, the passenger side window rolled down and the driver leaned across the seat.

“Excuse me,” he said, “I don’t live around here and was wondering where I can buy a bottle of wine.”

“I’m not really sure”, I said, “I don’t live here.”

“Really, where do you live?”

“I live about an hour away, I just work over this way”, I said trying to rack my brain for what I did know of the area to be able to give him an idea of where to go for wine, “But I think there’s a store up that way where you can buy some decent wine.” I pointed to a shopping center down the road.

“Oh,” he said and smiled. “So, do you need a ride home? We could split a bottle of wine on the trip.”

Oh! Now I get it, I’m being hit on! And in case I didn’t realize it quite yet, he continued…

“I’m flirting with you. I saw you walking across the parking lot and I think you’re very beautiful.”

I am pretty sure I blushed at this time, and was simultaneously feeling awkward, “Thank you, but I’m waiting for someone for lunch.”

“Is it a blind date?”

“No,” I said, firstly because it wasn’t but also realizing that had I said yes, he was going to say he was it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s someone I’ve known for years, and I just saw him pulling over there”, I said pointing across the parking lot to the friend who really had just arrived.

At this, my would-be suitor looked over his shoulder and saw there was indeed someone getting out of the vehicle across the parking lot. He told me once again that I was very beautiful and drove away.

When my friend walked up I told him what happened and asked if he thought that kind of pick up line actually works on women.

“I’m sure it does,” he said, “He’s driving an $80,000 Mercedes.”

I hadn’t even noticed.

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